always a flowergirl, never a bridesmaid

I have a confession to make. It was my dream to be a bridesmaid. And I guess I'll never become one before I get married. I was chosen to be a flowergirl to two of my cousins' weddings, and another relative's wedding that I don't remember much because I was too little. I vaguely remember walking down the aisle and crying at the same time. Hehehe, the bride must have been cursing me at the time.

When one of my bestfriends from the Philippines got married she asked me to be a bridesmaid, but I couldn't make the trip to the Philipines because my mom was sick. Another friend asked me to be her bridesmaid when she got married, again in the Philippines, but I had to decline because I just started a job and couldn't get a vacation at the time. I felt bad that I couldn't support them during their weddings.

So now that I am getting married, I feel a bit disappointed that I was never a bridesmaid before becoming a bride. Funny, how I never dreamt of myself in a white dress, but I've always dreamt of wearing pink chiffon gown (heck, I'll even wear chartreuse satin or fuchsia taffeta even if they clash with my skin just to please the bride.) I imagined these fabulous shower parties the other bridesmaids and I would plan for the bride. Sigh... some dreams are never meant to be.